"We welcome the year with open arms and dance the night away celebrating a new life." Is what i should say when the year has ended and a new dream comes along. Yet, the year is still upon us and the same dreams flutter with us as we take the next step in a new day. In life, we are meant to make those hard decisions which makes us a stronger person. In every moment of our beating life these decision comes along and knocks on your door. whether you are strong enough to face it and make the right decision is up to you. Some just leave the door unopened and follow the flow of the wind that comes from their window.
No matter how hard i try, i always feel as if there is something i said or did wrong. I never feel complete. I want to be perfect! nobody is perfect As i woke up and thought to myself, today shall be a new day and i shall do something. I lie down on that bed and thought to myself, what can i do to make it a better day. Then i realize, nothing. I can do nothing, because even if i were to do the biggest and sweetest thing in the world i will still go to bed being known as the most laziest and unworthy person on the face of the earth. I am unworthy of being loved? Or is my menstrual self is kicking me in the guts and making me such an emotional wreck? Life as Nuradriana Fazira is how you say sad.
Love just is...
When you think about love the first thing that comes to mind is the thought of inseparable couples, engaging with intimacy and flowers and roses popping out with love. All that mushy stuff, but is it really? Yes love should be something beautiful, relationships are blissful but there are some days where you just sit and think to yourself, does he still love me? The sound of his voice that day engages a spark in your voice and you just sit there the whole day thinking to yourself did i do something wrong? Am i the reason he is not happy? Th questions runs through your thoughts and everything is just a blur. Nothing is the same and all you want to do is just lie down and cry the whole day. Your appetite is not there, your strength is gone and nothing in the world is the same anymore. Maybe everything just needs time to heal. I gave him his space and now i wait for his attention. If i am not granted it tonight, i will sleep with a tear in my heart.
Mass Communication or Professional Communication?
That is the question...
I was thinking of my future and trying to evaluate a simple a solution to all my problems. I have made my decision as always with a little help from my mum. I don't want to take something just because he is in it. I'm pretty sure we will still have a few classes together but not all and that is a good thing, because clearly we need our space apart. A whole year as classmates and all hell froze over. I will pursue my degree in Professional Communication, for i think that is best for me. I think i can be a great PR. I just need to work on my boobies and so i can be beautiful to attract the clients. Not in that way, i will always maintain my professionalism. Work hard, play hard. The great words of Ne-yo. Where is the world going to? All the great inspirational artist are mostly gone and we are left with all these so called "artists" whose music only last a month or so before it becomes complete intolerable. Somebody please help us in making music as it was!!
My attempt of a rant has finally come to an end. I will end my piece with lyrics from my favourite song that speaks the words of my feelings.
And honestly, I have been begging for answers
That you and only you can give to me
A voice crying loud
I've been crying for days now
And as I start to run, I stop to breathe
(Cause I was nearly scared to death)
And I was nearly scared to death
(Why you left in paragraphs)
Why you left in paragraphs
(The words were nearly over as)
The words were nearly over as
You stop and turn and grab your bags
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every wave drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
As hours move to minutes
And minutes take longer to break
I will be desperately awaiting
When my tongue won't fall apart
And we've been sitting here for hours
All alone and in the dark
So let me think of how to word it
Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?
If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere
I'm sure everything would find me
All that's left is just to sing
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
And you'll sing to me sweet until then
I may never sail Virginia again
And as this current moves slow for me
This much you must know; we'll meet again
And I will have you know I'm scared to death
Tell me once again
That you'll love me to the death
And should I die, you swear that you will come for me
As I fade away, you reach out your arms
(And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go
(And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
