Nightmares

              I wrote this for an assignment i had for my Writing for Creative Industries class. It was one of those assignments where you are able to freely write about anything at all and let your imagination go free. I was really inspired by one of the stories by Jeff the Killer and decided to write a story that had a few bits and pieces of it. To all Jeff the Killer fans i am sorry if i were to offend you by recreating my own version and i do hope you could forgive me if i were to offend you. To all who will or have read this story that i wrote i hope you like it and enjoy my imagination. Take a trip into my mind. Thank you and have a nice day. 

          I close my eyes and see him standing at the foot of my bed. His eyes as red as amber and as cold as ice. His presence sends shivers down my spine as he stands there staring at me. I’m too afraid to move or scream, my body is paralyzed with fear. I try to imagine daylight or something that can cast him away from my sight but the more I try the bigger he gets. Clouding my every imagination.

            I try to imagine my friends visiting me, all their presence is meant to bring joy but as they walk into my room their being has been possessed by the same evil as him. I can’t move, I’m starting to lose my breath. I try to wake myself up, “WAKE UP!” I scream, it’s not working. I try to toss and turn, the motions might be strong enough to stir my conscience mind and wake me up, but still it doesn’t work.

            Suddenly I look back at the foot of my bed, and he is no longer there. This worries me, I am not sure to be relieved that he has finally left my sight or that he might be hiding somewhere for a brutal comeback. My conscience mind starts to stir my imagination, all I can think of is where he might be. “Look under the bed, he’s there.” I whisper. “He’s in the closet, now’s your chance to run for the door!” I shouted.

            Then sudden silence, I hear nothing. Not in my head or my surrounding. The silence is deafening, the longer it lasts the more fear accumulates in my head. I wait patiently for a movement or sound but nothing. I start to believe that it was all over. I lie back down and was relieved, when suddenly “It’s not over yet, I’m still here!” a deep and dark whisper rings in my ear. I scream, but my voice doesn’t come out. I try to move but my body feels like it’s tied to the bed. I can feel a tear running down my cheek, I’m in fear but I can’t do anything to avoid it.

I lie there praying that it will be over, when suddenly I feel a cold touch coming up my feet. I lie there crying, “this isn’t true” I said, the cold touch comes up higher and higher touching ever part of my body, until it stops at my neck. The feeling is highlighted mostly there and the feeling turns into a strong grip of a man’s cold hand. The hand grips my neck stronger and stronger, I lose my source of air, and I lie there gasping for air.

            As he grabs my neck I feel his weight on my body and his icy cold presence. I lose my will to live as he tightens his grip, but then a little whisper in my head says “I love you.” I could recognize that voice anywhere, I regained my strength and was able to find my will to push his presence off of me into a bright light that appeared miraculously from nowhere. It was gone, I sat up abruptly and started to regain my breath. It was over I hoped, he was finally gone. All I needed was the strength of a loved one to be free from his dark presence. I lie back down, feeling nothing but joy and relieved that I was free once again.

All my energy was drained out, I instantly fell back asleep when suddenly I feel it… It was him, I searched my room. “This can’t be, you were gone I destroyed you!” I screamed. Then I suddenly heard a deep laugh surrounding my whole room and a dark voice saying “I will never leave, I live inside of you. I am a part of you. Darkness is a part of you no matter how hard you try to destroy it.” His voice echoed and repeated itself again and again ringing across my room and into my ears. All I could hear was those words and I couldn't get it out of my head. “I live inside of you” was the loudest and it kept repeating over and over. When suddenly he then appears right in front of me, his eyes staring straight into mine. He then gave me his malicious smile and grabbed my neck and as I gasped for air he enters my body and I felt weak as I fell back on my bed.

Then the alarms rings out, “it was just one of those nightmares” I thought. It was then morning the sun shines into my bedroom, warming me up from a night of horror. I looked at my bed-side table and grabbed the book on it and said to myself “I really need to stop reading books written by Jeff the Killer before bed!”

THE END

I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds And You'll Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground

"We welcome the year with open arms and dance the night away celebrating a new life." Is what i should say when the year has ended and a new dream comes along. Yet, the year is still upon us and the same dreams flutter with us as we take the next step in a new day. In life, we are meant to make those hard decisions which makes us a stronger person. In every moment of our beating life these decision comes along and knocks on your door. whether you are strong enough to face it and make the right decision is up to you. Some just leave the door unopened and follow the flow of the wind that comes from their window. 

No matter how hard i try, i always feel as if there is something i said or did wrong. I never feel complete. I want to be perfect! nobody is perfect As i woke up and thought to myself, today shall be a new day and i shall do something. I lie down on that bed and thought to myself, what can i do to make it a better day. Then i realize, nothing. I can do nothing, because even if i were to do the biggest and sweetest thing in the world i will still go to bed being known as the most laziest and unworthy person on the face of the earth. I am unworthy of being loved? Or is my menstrual self is kicking me in the guts and making me such an emotional wreck? Life as Nuradriana Fazira is how you say sad. 

Love just is... 

When you think about love the first thing that comes to mind is the thought of inseparable couples, engaging with intimacy and flowers and roses popping out with love. All that mushy stuff, but is it really? Yes love should be something beautiful, relationships are blissful but there are some days where you just sit and think to yourself, does he still love me? The sound of his voice that day engages a spark in your voice and you just sit there the whole day thinking to yourself did i do something wrong? Am i the reason he is not happy? Th questions runs through your thoughts and everything is just a blur. Nothing is the same and all you want to do is just lie down and cry the whole day. Your appetite is not there, your strength is gone and nothing in the world is the same anymore. Maybe everything just needs time to heal. I gave him his space and now i wait for his attention. If i am not granted it tonight, i will sleep with a tear in my heart. 

Mass Communication or Professional Communication?

That is the question...

I was thinking of my future and trying to evaluate a simple a solution to all my problems. I have made my decision as always with a little help from my mum. I don't want to take something just because he is in it. I'm pretty sure we will still have a few classes together but not all and that is a good thing, because clearly we need our space apart. A whole year as classmates and all hell froze over. I will pursue my degree in Professional Communication, for i think that is best for me. I think i can be a great PR. I just need to work on my boobies and so i can be beautiful to attract the clients. Not in that way, i will always maintain my professionalism. Work hard, play hard. The great words of Ne-yo. Where is the world going to? All the great inspirational artist are mostly gone and we are left with all these so called "artists" whose music only last a month or so before it becomes complete intolerable. Somebody please help us in  making music as it was!!

My attempt of a rant has finally come to an end. I will end my piece with lyrics from my favourite song that speaks the words of my feelings.

  

And honestly, I have been begging for answers

That you and only you can give to me

A voice crying loud

I've been crying for days now

And as I start to run, I stop to breathe

(Cause I was nearly scared to death)

And I was nearly scared to death

(Why you left in paragraphs)

Why you left in paragraphs

(The words were nearly over as)

The words were nearly over as

You stop and turn and grab your bags

And I'll be here by the ocean

Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams

All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes

And every wave drags me to sea

I could stand here for hours

Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"

With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

As hours move to minutes

And minutes take longer to break

I will be desperately awaiting

When my tongue won't fall apart

And we've been sitting here for hours

All alone and in the dark

So let me think of how to word it

Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?

If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere

I'm sure everything would find me

All that's left is just to sing

And I'll be here by the ocean

Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams

All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes

And every waves drags me to sea

I could stand here for hours

Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"

With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

And you'll sing to me sweet until then

I may never sail Virginia again

And as this current moves slow for me

This much you must know; we'll meet again

And I will have you know I'm scared to death

Tell me once again

That you'll love me to the death

And should I die, you swear that you will come for me

As I fade away, you reach out your arms

(And please don't let me go)

And please don't let me go

(And please don't let me go)

And please don't let me go

And I'll be here by the ocean

Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams

All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes

And every waves drags me to sea

I could stand here for hours

Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"

With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

 

Powerpuff Girls

                                                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                           

                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                            

                                                                                   

                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                     

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                             

                                                                         

                                                                                                                

                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                     

                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                         

                                                                                           

                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                                                  

                                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                                       

Forever and always

Hello!
It has been a while I don't really have anything to blog about these days since my life is not as exciting as i hope it would be. Oh well.
Its 2012 wohooo!! This year has gone by quite fast. I mean look its already the end of march.
Last year was my senior year and i might say it was quite a ride. There was ups and downs but it was one of the best year of school i have ever experienced. Now i am done with school i have been given my results of my SPM exam and the only thing for me now is to go to college and make my future come true. I am going to do my foundation in communication at Limkokwing university. It is going to be awesome!! I can't wait.

Well this year i started it off with working at Popular Bookstore in Nilai. It was a good experience for me where i actually had the opportunity to know how it was like in the working world. It wasnt all good there was a lot of frustration and i had to learn to be patient which i totally suck at, but it was good for me... i guess. I was suppose to continue working there till i start college but i just could not and would not take the bullshit that my manager shoved in my face. I just couldn't take it no longer.

Now i am unemployed lying at home doing absolutely nothing and i kind of miss work but at the same time i really enjoy the time i have for myself. It sucks but it works for now. Since the next intake is in July my mum is suggesting i get another job just to pass time. I said I'll think about it cause I might be miserable and bored at home but i like being free all the time.

Well, as you know i am still with my sexy boyfriend Shafieq. Yes wes had a break up last year and it was hard for the both of us but the time we spent apart from each other made us realize the love that we had and still have is what makes us, well us. It probably makes no sense but to me it does. It makes perfect sense. I love him with all my heart. I know i might have said that about my last two exes but when i say it now i am confident it is true. Like when i was with Avinash yeah i said that i loved him but after we broke up, I realize i never really loved him. I just made myself believe i did and i tried to convince myself that he was the one but when i thought about he wasn't and he never will be. The funny thing is that after Shafieq and i broke up i never got over him. Even with the 9 months apart all i did the whole time was think of him and how I wished and prayed to god that he would take me back. It was like in my heart he was the only one for me. Even if he didn't feel that way about me, just knowing i felt that way and knowing he is still breathing in this world just got me through. He means the world to me. And when he came back and asked me to be his again i swear my heart sank. I never thought i would hear him say those words to me.

The best feeling in the world is knowing that you're loved. And the fact the he is in another country and he is constantly surrounded by other beautiful girls with great personalities and he still chooses to be with me despite the distance makes me feel special and actually worth something. He is the most amazing person i have ever met. He is so sweet and so considerate and loving i feel blessed to even know him. And to be loved by him its just wonderful. And that day i was skyping with Shafieq and it was like 6pm here and like 11pm over there and I told him to go to sleep cause he was tired. So he did and he said to me "goodnight syg." and i said to him "good evening bby." it was so cute. heee

I love you, forever and always.
You are my forever.

Ironic- Alanis Morissette

Heyy there!

Can you believe it? The last time I blogged was like a year ago!!

OMG!! It's been so long!

Please forgive me I know it's been a while.

I guess I just didn't know what to post on my awesome blog.

More Evidence of The Stupidy of Humans.

Yes that is the title of my awesome blog. It is as awesome as me!

Well the last time I blogged I was dating Shafieq. I use to blog about him a lot. I loved that boy so much. We broke up in the beginning of the year. 17th January 2011 to be exact. We didn't acknowledge each other for months. Until one day I thought to myself why should we do this, we had something so special why waste the beautiful friendship we had just because of a breakup.

So I gather all my strength and courage and commented on one of his statuses. After that I found out he had twitter and followed him. We started tweeting each other. And before we knew it we were bestfriends again. I was so happy to have him back in my life. He made me happy even though he might have hurt me here and there he was still made a big impact in my life and him leaving me left the biggest hole in my heart.

Months later he came back to Malaysia, his hometown and the current country I live in.

He came back and visited me at my house. We talked and I missed him so much it was amazing to have seen him again after a year of his absence. I was happy to have been able to even be in his presence. The day he came to my house he asked me to be his once again. I didnt accept immediately but eventually I did. I adored the boy I couldn't say no.

Now he is back in New Zealand and we are still together. When he left I was completely okay with it. Seriously, I was fine. Then after a week of being happy and jolly I finally realized he was gone once again. I eventually broke down in tears. It's been a month plus and I am now fine.

We now tweet each other and are still going strong. I hope.

I have the biggest crush on this boy I've known since std6. I won't say names but will tell you that he is known by me as Daddy Long Legs. This is because he has long,sexy legs. When I see him in the school uniform I go bonkers for him. As most of you guys know I love the name Daniel and I want to name my son Daniel. I don't care who I marry if I am blessed with a baby boy his name will be Daniel. I don't know if this is nice or not but I was thinking of the name Naim Daniel. Is that nice? I absolutely adore the name Naim. Just as much as I adore the name Daniel.

When I was 15 I made a decision that I wanted to be a lawyer, but lately I have been having second thoughts on that matter. I've always wanted to be a journalist. Ever since I was younger. I have a passion for writting. I absulotely enjoy writting stories it gives me a sense of relaxation and joy. So if possible I might be taking Mass Communication and I might take it at Limkokwing. That's if I'm lucky enough to be able to study there.

Well I think that is all from me.

I promise I will blog some more when I have time. I still haven't finish my exams yet. SPM!!

I will be done with my exams on the 8th so after that I will be free!! Free as a bird in the sky.

Thank you for taking a few moments of your time to read my blog.

I really hope I didn't bore you to death with my stories of myself.

Stay jingles.

Goodnight to all.

Bye!! :D

Three Cheers For One Year!

HELLO!
The End IS Here!
Hello!
We're Standing Here!

I know i know i havent blogged in so long but im BACK!
Today my blog is inspirited by the one the only... Sonia Lasong! Today is my one year anniversary with Shafieq Daniel Wilson! 07.09.10:D
So today i shall talk about Shafieq and I.

Ok. it all started in 2004. We met at school. I saw him and i was like that boy is kinda cute:) then my mum and his mum started hanging out so one day his mum came and introduced us to each other and like any other kid in the world we started being friends and played with each other. and when i say play i dont mean PLAY! i mean play. anyways... we started playing and being childish and i really thought he was cute and i was really happy being his friend. we weren't really that close in 2004 so skipping to 2005!

2005
In 2005 we started being really close. That year my sister was admitted in the hospital countless times and because of that i was sent to Shafieq's house. Thats when the magic happened. When i stayed at his house we would play games and stuff. My favorite game Alien Family?? haha. I was the Alien wife and he was the Alien Husband and his sister would be the Alien daughter. It was really fun. Since i spent a lot of time at his house and spent time with him i started to like him. and i liked him a lot. But i never had the guts to tell him. and i didn know if he liked me back so i just kept my thoughts to myself. There was this party at Shafieq's house. Just my family and his family. It was really fun. I remember Shazrien and i were playing in her room and then all of the sudden we were attacked by Shafieq and my bro. they came in with baby powder and started throwing powder at us! we had a powder fight?? Shafieq was literally holding me and splashing me with powder! at the end of the war Shazrien and i were covered with powder. it was so FUN! There was one day we all slept in Shazrien's room and we had this competition. Who could stay up the lasted. I won by the way:P I was sleeping in the middle of Shafieq and Shazrien. Shazrien fell asleep first so Shafieq and i were wide awake and so we started talking. I remember talking to him about a guy i liked and asking him advise to what i should do. and the guy i was talking about was HIM. But he didn know. Boys are so ignorant:P then after hours of talking. he fell asleep and i was left alone. So obviously i won the competition!:D So proud! And eventually i as well fell asleep. When i woke up i was shocked to see me waking up in his arms? haha. it was scary at first but then i just smiled and went back to sleep. and when i woke up again hours later, Shazrien was awake and just gawking at us. and she started making havoc just cause Shafieq and i were hugging each other. I know it was weird but i liked it.:D
Then we had breakfast and blah blah blah....on to the next year!

2006/2007
we kinda grew apart and weren't really talking. We did talk but not as much! but i bullied him alot. he would stare at me and i would call him a weirdo! i would hit him just cause he was looking so cute and when he ask me why i'd hit him and smiled and hit him again:D

2008
we started talking and hanging out again cause he was in form 1 and we had break and lunch together. We would sit together and stuff. I still hit him cause he was cute:P There was that one day Surekha had her birthday party and the both of us were there. I was dating someone at that time and i remember he came and sat next to me and started asking me personal questions about my love life. which was so inappropriate. And when he sat next to me he started staring right at me like he was trying to tell me something but didn't have the guts to tell me. he didnt tell me anything we just went on with our lives with this big question unanswered. and eventually my feelings for him was going away and i just liked him as a friend.

2009
Ok 2009 was a really complicated year for us.
We started texting and became really close again. He was really sweet and caring and i really appreciated it cause i went through a horrible break up and i need someone. and at some point we got together but i wasnt into him as much as i was last time cause i never knew that he really like me like how i liked him so we were just pretending! then we broke up and he got together with this girl in my class who i despise! And i was really angry. I got really jealous and for that reason i wanted him even more. But i didn know how to tell him. I was really depressed cause i saw them everyday. It was so depressing. They were always together. It really pissed me off. There was this one time during trials he came and hanged out with me. And She came and was really mad at me telling me that maryam was calling me so i followed her thinking Maryam was with her. Then she turned around and told me she was at the canteen. I got so pissed i yelled at her saying you could have told me! BODOH! and Shafieq started laughing and he got yelled at by HER. ishh! Then there was this one time i met him at my auntie's house. we weren't dating we were just friends and i told him. Arent you scared that if your gf knew your hanging out with me at my auntie's house she will get mad at you. and he was like what she doesnt know wont hurt her. I really liked hanging out with him. my auntie really liked him and my grandauntie and auntie met him and they as well really liked him. i was really happy they approve:P and then the next day my granduncle passed away. and that night i was at his funeral and i got a call from Shafieq telling me he wanted me back. Saying he really likes me and he likes spending time with me. I was so happy! i felt like i was in heaven. We talked for hours that night and my phone died. The next day when i got back i was so freaked out cause i havent finished my folio. And i charged my phone. When i turned it on i saw a lot of messages and missed calls from him. I thought maybe he missed me but that wasnt it. And then he called and i answered. i was doing my folio so i wasnt really paying attention. But then he got my attention. He was breaking up with me. But i was too busy with my folio to care. He was trying so hard to tell me that he liked me but he really cared about her and he didn know how to tell me that he wants to break up so i gave him a line to make it official. before he could finish with what he wanted to say i said bye and hanged up. I threw my phone and continued with my work. A few days later i realized what had happened and i just broke down in tears. I was crying so hard. I went to school the next day with sore eyes. I saw them that day sitting together. It was during PE and i just ran outside and for no reason at all i started running laps just to ease the pain. a few months later Shazrien came up to me and told me that they broke up. And i was so happy i texted him that night. We talked for hours and he apologized for what he did to me and i accepted his apology like a matured adult i was. Then he asked me to his gf again. i was like so confused and then after thinking long and hard about it i accepted. After that we officially got together and we've been together ever since:D We had our 1st kiss at Lui's birthday party. i forgot the date! SHIT! anyways we had our 1st kiss on Lui's Bed:D We were hanging in Lui's room and then it just happend:D He came to my house a lot that year and we made out a lot. In my room, on my bed, infront of the tv, in my sister's room, in the middle of the street, at my neighbour's house:P haha. too much info. we went out in december and hanged out with my cousins and stuff. really fun:D

2010
He came to my house a lot we made out. then in March he left for New Zealand. It really hurt me. I was so depressed for 2weeks then i realized that there was no reason to be depressed cause i knew it was gonna happen and i had to live with it. now we are still in love and still going strong even though he is all the way in New Zealand:D He is coming back in December. I am so looking forward to seeing my bby again. Miss him so much:D

Well i guess thats it:D
thats my Malaysian Story:P
no not really.
Thats my Shafieq Story:D
Bye.
stay jingles:D